Social Networking Irritants!!

27 Mar

Social Media has managed, in it’s short existence, to create some of the most irritating habits known to man. In this blog, I’m going to give a few examples of what are possibly the worst of the irritating things people do and bizarrely see no problem with. It’s amazing how quickly you learn that all of your friends are Dick Heads, with nothing but a quick scan down your newsfeed. Especially if you didn’t already know that 99% of the population are idiots, yourselves and I often included. As I say, these a just a few examples of the social networking habits that prove it. Absolutely unquestionably prove it. You will see things that you yourself probably do, which the wishful thinking upside of this is you’ll stop doing it, but like a person of faith, reasoning with you is just pointless and you will, I’m sure, continue to be an Idiot.

The first thing I’m going to mention is people that put a status up and then proceed to ‘like’ their own status. Why do you do this? Is the fact you put it up, whatever drivel it happens to be this hour, not enough to show that you like what you had to say? It really baffles me, I can’t seem to find any suitable reason why you would have to ‘like’ what you said, it’s like patting yourself on the back for being a tit. Or for being able to do something quite basic like brushing your teeth, you wouldn’t finish this task of a morning and then go and breath purposely in other commuters faces announcing to Seven Sisters Station that you managed to accomplish the spectacular feat of brushing your pearly ‘not so’ whites. It would be absurd, but you do ‘like’ what you put up for the world to see, because simply writing it in the first place wasn’t enough. Idiot.

Before I carry on, I will tell you that some of the things I’m going to mention can sometimes come with combinations of epic stupidity, so be warned that some of you will almost definitely be beyond the help of my Peripheral Musings.

I often refer to the sites as Earths living room, but I like the analogy a friend of mine uses, of Facebook being like a digital version of the crappiest bar in town, but the only one that will still serve you no matter what.

Why do people insist on wishing people, that are clearly not on the network, or they don’t know, Happy Birthday? Along the lines of “Happy 2nd Birthday to my beautiful child, i love you lots and lots. xxx!” This sort of behaviour is not a normal thing, its running very closely to mental illness. When exactly do you think saying happy birthday via Baitbook is a sensible grown up thing to do for a 2 year old, yours or even worse, someone else’s, a person that can’t even read, let alone use Social Networking? It’s clearly an idiotic thing to do. But you people insist on doing it for children, grandparents, celebrities you’ve never met, or will ever meet dead or alive. Stop doing it, it’s not the same as a memorial for people to leave their well wishes to the families of deceased loved ones, so do not treat it as such. Idiot.

Next we have the announcing of meal plans, often accompanied by a photo of the meal, which doesn’t very often look particularly appetising, but what’s the point in sharing it in the 1st place? If you are an aspiring chef, which nearly none of you are, especially judging by the food you tell me about, then ok, build yourself some confidence by posting doctored pictures of doctored food for people to drool over and tell you how amazing you are at taking a photo of the smallest roast dinner I’ve ever seen. Or some of you will give a running commentary on the progress your dinner is making, ‘Chicken in the oven, roasting away nicely, now to peel the spuds and let them potato’s potate.’ or something equally as stupid. I for one didn’t think that by putting a chicken in the oven you were going to be deep frying it, nor did I care. The next part of this meal plan procedure you have on the networks is telling me it looks and tastes amazing, well isn’t that great.
Then this is followed usually by a photo of an empty plate. Well congratulations on finishing your dinner, a massive thank you for sharing this wonderful news with the world. You have inspired me to finish more dinners. Without your inspiring efforts I’d probably still be peckish, but thanks to the wonderful talents and creative use of the Social Networks you have shown, I can honestly say, ‘Stick a fork in me, I’m done.’  Sometimes followed by the washing up comments and pictures, Wow, you used some stuff at home, and now you have to clean it, who’d have thought, what a crazy world we live in a? Idiots.

People that send nothing but game invites, or share game achievements such as high scores, how well your pretend crops are doing and various other peculiar things you share from them. The most annoying one for me personally though, which anyone that knows me will already know, is putting screenshots of a word game, which has four pictures as clues to what the one word is. I will say it again and keep saying it, If you can’t play it, delete it. You don’t put pictures of other things you get stuck with up, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone post a picture of a crossword for example. So why do it with this? Also do you people not have anything better to be doing than playing poxy games on these social networking sites, don’t you know that they’re here for us to bore idiots with our exquisite tastes. Not to be anti social on a social network by playing some shit game and sharing how good you are at being a loser. You don’t do it on anything else, you don’t shout about winning a game of Minesweeper, on Windows (The program), whilst bored at work, actually, does anyone even play Minesweeper anymore, it used to be adolescent boys pissing about in the school library. Also, i have never in the few times I played it at school ever completed a single round, or seen anyone do it. Weird! Anyway, you people are also Idiots!

You next bunch of idiots are the people that think announcing to the world what an arsehole your child’s parent you are no longer with is! What would possess you to do this? It’s no better than going on Jeremy Kyle, and to be fair, I’m surprised some of you haven’t. In fact it’s probably worse than going on National TV to air your dirty laundry, trying to somehow make out, with the help of some judgemental opinionated wanker, that you are a better human being then they are. Some people are bad at some things, but by doing this, I can hand on heart, honestly say you are just a fucking dick head. Posting things like this to cause all your sympathising friends, that only know your version of events, to then follow suit, and list loads of insults and suggestions, like stopping the victim of this childish behaviour from seeing their child. Who, that’s not involved, thinks they can share opinions of this nature and not think it’s wrong? You letting them and getting a kick out of doing it, is simply pathetic. I hope your children grow up and see this is how their parents behaved, they can at least then realise the deep mental issues they have whilst probably trying to get over a teen pregnancy or drug addiction, can be rooted into their Mum or Dad, possibly both, being a drain on society as a whole. Proper Idiots!
The people that in general just have a go at others via their statuses, what is the point, honestly? If you are not willing to say something directly to the idiot in question, then you may as well just keep quiet. You should work on this though, because I can promise you this, telling an idiot they are exactly that is one of the most satisfying past times a person can have. Along with Smoking and Drinking of course. And let’s be honest people, everyone you meet is an Idiot!

I just touched on the sympathy that people try and get on the sites, when did they become the places to look for a shoulder to cry on. Usually though it seems with these idiots that they are using the place as a hypochondriacs playground. If you have a cold, take some Lemsip or some other form of medication, I don’t need my mood being brought down by your whinging about how ill you are probably not, because if you were as ill as it would appear from what you write, you wouldn’t be writing the statuses in the first place. Also, if you work in a job with not a lot of prospects in the place, I know you had a shit day at work, telling me about how shit it is just emphasises exactly how shit the rest of your life must be if you feel the need to then tell everyone you know what a shit day it was. You work as a cashier, I know it was a shit day, I know without being told, I know that every time I do a bit of shopping and you can’t even muster a smile to greet someone that your very existence there is shit and you’d probably rather be dead. Why do you think your jobs are being replaced by self service machines? The last thing you’ll ever get from me for having a shit job and a shit day at it, is sympathy, who cares Idiot?

A similar idiot to the last, is the one that thinks having a go at people, usually a general rant of the indirect nature, for simply having a good time. For example, why on earth would you begrudge other people you know having a good Christmas day. I don’t particularly enjoy seeing their stupid grinning faces either, but wouldn’t dream of telling them they aren’t allowed to have a good time. Idiot.

Why, whatever the video is, does the comment feed have nothing but argument’s about race, religion or both, often with a dose of conspiracy for good measure? Militant Anti-Theist Honky’s calling out Jesus Freak Nig Nogs, Lizard Believing Faggots telling you that you’re crazy for thinking man landed on the moon because they heard some southern state White Trash petrol station owner say so on the internet. The same Hillbilly that’s telling you he would kick your arse if he see’s you, ignoring the fact that one of you, possibly both, is only 12 years old and live on different continents.
It can be a certainty though, as long as you aren’t twelve years old, that these comment feeds will make you realise that your life isn’t so bad after all, so for that, I thank you idiots.

Girls, girls, girls and the odd bloke, pretty boy or gay usually. Why do you feel the need to take photo’s of yourselves, half naked, in the mirror, with a stupid look on your face? It mostly consists of you looking in the other direction to the way your facing, or a diagonal angle upwards, pouting with an unbelievable amount of make up on. Stop it, stop it now! Not only is it bloody annoying, you can never tell where you are because the whole shot is taken up by your fat face, or your friends fat faces!
Here’s a couple of pictures, because it’s never just one, of me demonstrating the pose that I mean;
Does this man look an idiot or what? Exactly!

There are far too many people online that have nothing to say but cannot seem to wait to tell the world about it. The habits people have acquired since social networking became a night out for some people, are just beyond reason. You are on the internet, you have a search engine, Google usually. So why would you Tweet a question about a specific subject unless its directly to a friend to find out the time you’re meeting them? You have Google, in fact, you probably use a search engine for 99% of the answers you don’t know, so what do you think people are going to do to give you the answer? That’s right, they are going to Bing it, I mean Google. Idiot.

The last thing I am going to gripe about has to be people that feel the need to blog about the stuff people do that winds them up. I mean what is it these people think they are going to achieve by putting it down in writing, what is there to achieve by telling you all what you already know? That you are all idiots. But the Idiot telling you all by putting big bodies of text, needlessly using the occasional long word they’ve just learnt, is obviously compensating for the tiny penis in their 501’s. Or jogging bottoms, depending if the clearly unemployed blogger has anything else to bother with throughout the day, unlikely I know. This person probably doesn’t shave often, whether they need to or not. The blogger can often be a pretentious shit, clearly thinks they know better than most, often does. They probably are at different times, every Characteristic of a Social Group. I’m willing to wager that this person probably smokes the odd illegal narcotic to relax, as well as having an intimate relationship with cigarettes and alcohol, self medicating to make their day easier for themselves to be able to cope with the stresses of other peoples stupidity, a temporary solution to a permanent problem. A problem I’m sure that no amount of blogging will ever solve. They’ll continue nonetheless.
Mainly because there are still so many more things that people do that can’t be described any other way than truthfully, Idiotic.

I’ve had it said to me before, why can’t you just shut up and let people have their own habits and belief’s, especially if it’s not hurting you? Well if everyone thought like this, we would surely have nothing at all to say. You reading surely realise that it’s people’s unbelievably silly beliefs and habits that cause more harm than anything else, whether directly or not is besides the point. Do people not realise that its more idiotic to be a spectator of idiocy than it is to talk out against it, whether its in a religious form or a ridiculous Facebook habit, both equally as irritating as each other, but at least one of them doesn’t allow for the breeding of psychopathic nutcases by giving nonsense credibility, it just breeds more and more idiots, nothing else. Well not unless you include pissed off bloggers.
I hope you have enjoyed reading, if you have discovered through reading my Peripheral Musings that you are more of an idiot than initially thought, then it was my pleasure informing you. If not, we have more time and more topics to cover, do not think yourself safe from the truth. Idiot!

Talk again soon you beautiful people.

Peace and Love,

James, x


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