The Character Traits Of A Social Group! (part 2)

3 Feb
Welcome back readers, I hope you’ve been well. I would imagine you’ve now labelled the people you know with the Character Traits covered last week in part 1, if not, I should have your friends number this week. The same drill as last time, you will find these traits amongst ALL (predominately male) social groups. If you’re only just joining me, I hope you go back and check part 1 out. Then you too, can sit back in judgement of your friends, like Torie voters..

Anyway, not too much chit chat, I’ll get straight into it with:

The Moaner,

Also known as ‘The Whinge’, you’ll find fault in everything, not in that perfectionist OCD way we see with others, but literally moaning for the sake of moaning. You are a downer on anyone that surrounds you, unless you have one of those magic moments and the group all agree that its rubbish. But as these moments are rare at the best of times, you will suck any bit of good people can find in something, straight back out of it. Nothing ever meets your high standards and if it did, I’m sure you’d just simply raise them. Every time you open that hole in your face you manage to epitomise miserable. Schopenhauer had nothing on you.
This can often run parallel with the Depressive trait, but not always. In private you are probably quite contented with life but are unable to converse with someone without moaning about practically anything. It must be a bad parenting thing, it was never suggested that “If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing!” I agree with speaking your mind, but you have a whole new level, it’s called ‘Everything Is Shit If You Want My Opinion!’
Well I don’t, so unless it’s relevant I’d prefer you kept it to yourself.
I’ve always wondered why you’re put up with amongst your peers, I cannot think of any redeeming qualities of this trait, other then how funny it can be when you inadvertently upset someone that deserves it. I wouldn’t call this a redeeming quality though, as it’s purely for selfish reasons.
The Let Down,
You are the person that people stop inviting to a get together; possibly even forgotten about completely by the group you were once attached. You can stop checking your phone to see when you were last invited out now. Unable to ever make it to a planned event, usually at the last minute, excuses range from falling asleep to coming over ill all of a sudden, but the worst has to be using your children as the excuse. Shhh, it’s too easy I know, I have a son, but this doesn’t make it right, in fact the very opposite of right is what it is. You will say yes to things with no intention of ever actually making an appearance, surely it’s easier to just say no. Too afraid that ‘No’ will somehow offend someone, you say yes constantly until the big day comes, then you’re able to say no due to some cock and bull story you’ve been plotting for however long it takes to come up with. Sometimes you’ll just disappear off the radar completely, usually because you fell asleep and your phone was on silent, or in another room, maybe both. Even though your group slowly starts to not invite you due to the fact they know you’ll be ill, it doesn’t detract you from saying yes whilst meaning no, like when a partner say’s “You can go out, I don’t mind, honestly.” We all know you’re going to be paying the price of going out for at least a week.
Its part of your DNA to be like this, you can’t help it. But this trait is not to be confused with our next.

The Empty Planner,

Not named because you have an empty planner, although I would imagine that if you own one, it is. You are named this because you make plans that will never materialise. I know we all do this when under the influence but you do this all the time, no matter how big or small the plan is, you’re not lying, or even making the plans knowing you won’t follow them through. I’m sure you are full of intent whilst making the plans, just not able to go through with them, either to bad organisation skills or you just simply don’t. They are probably conversation pieces, and can be fully entertaining to the parties involved. I mean what’s more entertaining then discussing the empire you want to build, or the party of the year. It just gets tedious hearing these plans of takeover knowing that it’ll almost definitely never happen, regardless of how entertaining it can be. You are full of ideas, but no spunk. This has no bearing on how you are as a person to be fair, as long as you don’t, during the course of the evening, use the word’s “Right lads, I’ve got an idea…” because I can assure you that the people in the ‘Social Group’ you’re part of will quickly switch off.

The Hermit,
Hasn’t been seen……WP_000245_thumb.jpg
You, for whatever reasons just love staying in, not because you’re under a proverbial thumb either. If you didn’t have bills to pay or shopping to do, you’d probably never come out of the house. For you to be part of the ‘Social Group’, the social activities have to come to you. You masturbate profusely, have an extremely impressive collection of masturbation materials and being caught doing this in someone else’s house is, maybe, what has caused you to become a Hermit.
Thank goodness for the Internet and Takeaways!
The Loner,



The Cheerleader,

No matter what devices you are left to, you seem incapable of making any decisions for yourself. Speaking up about what you’d like to do is not in your nature, you seem content, whether it makes you miserable or not, to just follow the crowd. You could be referred to as a sheep, but I personally see the sheep comparison as more of a crowd of ‘Social Cheerleaders’. You hate Chinese food, racist, but will go to the staff do in Chinatown anyway, and have omelette and chips; do you have any idea how irritating it is, to go for dinner in a Chinese restaurant with someone that has an omelette?

You’ll follow the ‘Cool Cat’ like a lost lamb, or anyone around so as not to have to decide if something is ok or not. Following others is your game, not too unlike Italy during WW2; you will probably pick the winning side, almost definitely a glory supporter if you’re into sports. You often just regurgitate the things you hear others say to try and be a part of the conversation. Without the other Characteristics in your social group I can’t imagine what you’d be doing with yourself from day to day as there would be no ones approval to seek out. Maybe you’d become a junkie?
A big factor in your whole being is being accepted by your group, by any group. One talent you have is to seem happy in almost any social situation you’re a part of. Rarely offending anyone, you are a welcome addition to most ‘Social Groups’. It’s great to have you around when debating someone from outside of your circle as you’ll agree with anything I say, which in turn makes for good personal amusement in getting you, later in the day, to agree with the opposite of what I’d previously said.
That’s how easy you are to be used.
The Cool Cat,
The too cool for school attitude can seem pretentious, which is a regular cause for the ‘Berti’ playing up. Most of the time though its people with similar interests who find you cool, unless they’re the cool ones of there group, then they think you are a dick. But there are those rare moments of the cool kids from each group congregating in one place to try and be cooler than the rest of the people in the place, including each other. And I don’t mean by standing next to a fan, although it can often involve a lot of standing around near each other.
You look down your nose at people, merely for the shoes they happen to be wearing. Speaking down on people is your worst habit. I’m amazed these ‘Cats’ don’t get more good hidings. I suppose it’s the aura around them that attracts people to them like flies.
The good and bad of being the ‘Cool Cat’ is that it seems to rub off on the people in your group with good and bad outcomes. It can come across as an imitation from some and just damn right ridiculous from others. Your favourite toy is my last subject, as the ‘Cheerleader’ will do almost anything you want them to, this is not to be abused by being abusive as you then lose your status and become a bully. And no one likes a bully. You don’t need to pretend to be cooler than the rest as everyone else seems to put you on this pedestal, making you believe it, even know it.
The Social Networker,
This one is not easy to define as practically all of us could be put into this category, so I’ll take this time to simply moan about the things people do via social networking, even some of the things I may have been guilty of myself. Only some though. A list of the things you do that irritate and annoy, even anger.
I couldn’t care less about fictional soap characters, so stop informing me of their demise, break ups, fights, love interests, haircuts or whatever else it is they’re acting out. Did you all notice the words fictional and acting? I’d also add this shows that the word ‘acting’ can be used very loosely. Also, if you already know what’s going to happen to these characters, why do you even bother watching it? No, this cannot be compared to going to see a movie you’ve read the book for. Movies and soap opera’s are not the same thing. I don’t see any episodes of whichever brain numbing soap you happen to be into being guest directed by Quentin Tarantino, or co written by Gary Oldman.
I don’t want to know the winners and losers in any reality TV show, celebrity or not. As far as I’m concerned, and all of society should be concerned, all of these people are losers. I don’t care how likeable any of them are whilst they act, that word act again, like desperate arseholes. Usually desperate for fame, because if they had talent worthy of our attention they would already be exercising this somewhere else, so stop telling me how sad their sob story is, or how so and so should win because she’s not as fat as that other idiot. I don’t care!
Informing the world of your attempts at making a dinner, or how marvellous your dinner is, unless you work with food for a living, enjoy your poxy roast dinner in private please.
If your child is ill, take them to the doctor’s or give them some calpol and shut it. Stop posting your blogs for people to read how you see the world, we shouldn’t give a shit how anyone else see’s the world, unless they are people making some sort of difference to it. Although, a lot of the time, the people that do make a real difference through scientific breakthroughs or what have you, have some extraordinary beliefs.
We all have enough worries of our own, we don’t need to know what yours are, if you’ve had a shit day, so what?
Do however share news that affects people.
Share your upcoming events by all means; anything that can benefit you or others in anyway is not a bad thing to announce. Share anything creative, enlightenment is only ever good, unless it’s of a fictitious nature claiming to be fact such as Religion. But we’ll have more on that subject another day. I know social networking has given everyone a voice, Earths living room if you will, but some things need to stay out of the publics view and in private. Start going back out people and give me more social characteristics to write about.

This concludes part 2.

Part 3 is down to you fine people now. Please add in the comments section, any you feel may have missed out on making the list. If enough get added via any of the networks I’ve posted this on, I’ll put them together and post them as a collective blog.
As I have mentioned this is focused on the predominantly male social group, but we all know that women have a lot of these exact traits too. If any female readers would like to write a female focused piece, maybe highlighting the differences, if there is any, I would love to read it. Again these are traits that, wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you are acquainted with, you will find amongst the Social Group.
I hope you have enjoyed reading, if so come back and join in with my musings on a whole variety of topics.
A friend of mine has the philosophy.

”Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Not only that, they shouldn’t nail pictures to the wall either.” Steve Moss.

Maybe not as eloquently put has Orwell but definitely with as much conviction.
Thank you again for your attention.

Peace and Love people.

Talk soon,




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